the Dalaverse

So today was some bullshit.

I can't find much to say at this point, but at least somebody punched Richard Spencer in the face. This ain't your town, asshole.

Day 3

In your own space, set some goals for the coming year. They can be fannish or not, public or private.

I have actually done this! All relatively generous.

Reading: at least 24 books for the year (averaging 2 per week)

Running: 10:00 5k pace, ideally by the summer. Then I'll set a goal for Marine Corps based on where I am.
800 total miles for the year, which averages to ~15 miles per week. I feel like I can work with that.

General: Cook more. Be more present. Take time out for self-care when it's needed. Thoroughly clean one room per week. Spend time with my dad.

Day 2

In your own space, share a book/song/movie/tv show/fanwork/etc that changed your life. Something that impacted on your consciousness in a way that left its mark on your soul.

If we go way back, I saw the movie adaptation of "Where the Red Fern Grows" at a very young age - maybe 6 or 7. I watched it in the basement, and then I went upstairs, and my mom found me crying on the couch. It was the first time I ever felt that swell of emotion for something outside of my immediate self. My paternal grandfather died when I was 4 and I remember my dad telling me at the funeral that it was okay if I wanted to cry, and me silently wondering why I would (which sounds awful written out, but I don't have any actual memories of my grandfather and I mean it in the sense that I simply didn't understand). But when Old Dan and Little Ann were buried side by side and the red fern grew up between them, my heart broke for the first time.

On a less existential level, I saw "Star Wars" for the first time in the theater in 1997. The opening notes of the theme blared out, the text crawled across the screen into the depths of space, and I was in love. Just totally, completely gone in a way I had never felt before, although I had lots of books and movies I loved. I discovered the existence of fandom on the internet immediately afterwards, and the rest is history.

Joni Mitchell's Blue album, on vinyl on my dad's stereo, lying on the living room carpet with my head between the speakers. And everyone one of them words rang true, like it was written on my soul, from me to you.

Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein. The Little Prince.

Regarding fandom, the first thing that comes to mind is KJ's Moonverse. I reread it several years ago and it's still soul-destroying. "Don't come back. Ever." JFC you guys, what even is fandom.

I'm gonna give this a shot. It's only a couple of weeks, right?

Day 1 (on Day 3)

In your own space, post a rec for at least three fanworks that you have created. It can be your favorite fanworks that you've created, or fanworks you feel no one ever saw, or fanworks you say would define you as a creator.

The Stars Are Set Alight - SW:TFA, Finn/Poe. Oh my, did I ever pour a lot into this one. While I had the basic idea laid out (inspired by a kink meme prompt on one of two pages I actually read), I got stuck on the scene where Poe reveals his diagnosis. For. WEEKS. Even when I finally broke through, it was maybe the slowest writing process I've ever had, which. means that I read through it over and over, and pretty much every word is exactly where I want it. It's at once a story about a primary relationship (my wheelhouse), and a story about how I feel about the central Star Wars story. It means a lot to me and I got some really meaningful feedback on it. Then I didn't write anything for eight months! But if I had gone out, I would've been happy to go out on this fic.
Runners-up: "Anywhere I Go There You Are" (writing the Skywalker twins at last); "Hang Onto Yourself" (for "mi cielo")

The Sum of Us - ST:AOS, Kirk/McCoy and others. I almost chose "Down to the River to Pray" or "Five Pets" (...I wrote a lot of 5 Times for Trek okay), because I think the writing is tighter on them. This was one of my first Trek fics and it shows, especially in the Winona section. But this was when my understanding of the characters really began to grow, and I do like that it uses multiple POVs (Team as Family foreverrrr). I feel like this was when I really, truly joined the Kirk/McCoy fandom, and I've loved every moment of my time there.

North and South of the River series - PotC, Jack/Will/James. Let me say upfront that this is not my absolute strongest writing, but it's among the most ambitious. What started off as a PWP one-shot turned into a full-bodied emotional journey for the characters. I have such vivid memories of writing the conclusion in my freshman dormroom at some ungodly hour of the morning, at my desk in the righthand corner of the room, sobbing into the sleeves of my St. Mary's sweatshirt. So while it might not be my best (and there is a sad lack of Elizabeth), it's still very close to my heart. That's why when I uploaded my fic onto AO3, "Set Fire to the Sky" is the only one that I did a heavy edit on; I love the story enough that I wanted to mitigate its flaws even after all these years.
Runners-up: "For Want of a Nail" (all 46,500 words of it, damn); "Bookends" (Will and Elizabeth, sittin' in a tree); "Five Ways to Wear a Green Ribbon" (allll the pairings); the "Brothers In Arms" series (aka the Naval OT3 which I did have serious plans of finishing)
(...one of these days I'm going to finish archiving all my Pirates fic, and I'm going to count up the words, and it's going to be a lot of words.)

That was rather fun. I'll have to catch up on the rest tomorrow.

Been thinking about how to write this post for awhile now, but there really isn't any way to do except to just do it. My dad has stage 4 pancreatic cancer. He's just started chemo.

I haven't been much of a presence on LJ for a long time, but it didn't seem right not to post it here. It actually felt good to come back to fandom, diminished though this platform may be - something of a comfort.

Twenty-four hours ago, Donald Trump had not won the American presidency.

It still doesn't feel real. I never thought in a million years that we'd be staring into this abyss, not really.

I can't quite coalesce my thoughts into coherence; it's been such a long, sad day.

The concession speech was so beautiful and moving and painful. In my office of three women, we were each watching it on our own laptop with earbuds, so it was kind of a silent communal experience. I want to watch it again but don't know when I'll be able to handle it.

I canvassed and phone banked for the first time ever this election (in VA where it would do some good).

Something broke in our country today.

There's going to be a Trump Library. I don't know why I keep coming back to that.

I wrote a thing - a Trek thing. Jim and Bones after Beyond.

Title: Terra Nova
Leonard might have been woefully out of practice in this, and Jim didn’t have much practice to speak of; but they’d never had trouble finding their way to each other.
Author: Dala
Fandom: Star Trek Beyond
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Rating: PG
Words: 1600
AO3 link here

( Nobody was quite sure how to define the Enterprise crew’s official mission status, no matter how often they discussed it over drinks. )

So it seems that, even though I have a number of fic ideas rattling around in my brain, the one I'm writing first (after what, a three-year Trek hiatus)...

...is about a sentient Enterprise . And also, mpreg.

Yeah, I don't even know, but I pulled it off a locked LJ entry from 2009 and I still like it.

I'm going to have to buy icon space again, aren't I?

I saw STB for a third time today, and cried again. I still cry at the Kelvin scenes in the first one, so I'm used to it.

( I like the beats and shouting )

I still like this ship, it's still exciting. And I miss all my icons.

So it's taken me several days to gather my thoughts on "Star Trek Beyond." It was an emotional experience given the loss of Leonard Nimoy and Anton Yelchin. It was also emotional because it was FUCKING AMAZING. It deliberately course-corrects almost everything wrong with STID, and on some levels it might technically be a better film that ST09 (those levels being faithfulness to TOS; I still love the first with all my heart, and to be fair there is plenty I like about STID despire its flaws). I saw it twice in 22 hours, which I think is a personal record.

Shall we to ( spoilers? )

I honestly don't think I could've asked for much more out of this movie. Thank you, Justin Lin and Simon Pegg and Doug Jung. I kind of wish they had just capped the trilogy here, because it's how I would love to remember this thing that I love.

What are the odds that we'd get a great Star Wars movie and a great Star Trek movie back to back? Seriously, who would have predicted this a year ago?