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the_dala at 10:08pm on 01/11/2004
the_dala at 10:08pm on 01/11/2004I'm watching the SNL debate special just to catch the Bush/Gore lockbox/strategery sketch for the umpteenth time. I never, ever get tired of that fucking sketch. Anyway, I haven't watched SNL in over two years because it stopped amusing me, so I don't know who this guy aping Bush is. He's kinda funny, but he doesn't look a thing like him and he's nowhere near Will Ferrell. Seth Meyers has got Kerry's mannerisms and vocal inflections down pretty well, though.
Just gimme lockbox and strategery, SNL dudes. And some Dana Carvey. And some Dan Ackroyd (it was Ackroyd that did Carter all the time, right?) And Phil Hartman. Gimme the good shit, folks.
ETA: HERE IT IS! WOOOO! "I would put [the surplus] in what I call a 'lockbox.'
"I don't know what all that was about, but I do know one thing. Don't mess with Texas."
'[foreign names]'
*constipated look* "Yeah, that first country you mentioned...and clearly, the second guy you spoke of, beat the first guy...But I'm not gonna pronounce their names tonight, because I don't believe that's our national interest" *finger pistols*
"You may think you know the location of the lockbox, and maybe you do or maybe that's a decoy, or a dummy lockbox. Only the chairman of the joint chiefs, myself, and Tipper will know for sure."
"Jim, can I make two closing statements?"
'Sum up, in a single word, the best argument for your candidacy."
'Strategery."
'Lockbox."
"Uh, Jim? I got some more Nigerian names for you."
"*cough* That was not a sigh!"
"We want to be...unificators."
"Uh-oh. Sorry, Dick *snickersnicker*. I'll go over to my desk"
"So I'm asking you, America: be my buddy. I'm giving you $1600. Al Gore wouldn't give you any money. He would bore you with one of his long lectures and give the money to a tree."
COMEDY GOLD. And I totally transcribed most of that from memory and just polished it from the broadcast.
Just gimme lockbox and strategery, SNL dudes. And some Dana Carvey. And some Dan Ackroyd (it was Ackroyd that did Carter all the time, right?) And Phil Hartman. Gimme the good shit, folks.
ETA: HERE IT IS! WOOOO! "I would put [the surplus] in what I call a 'lockbox.'
"I don't know what all that was about, but I do know one thing. Don't mess with Texas."
'[foreign names]'
*constipated look* "Yeah, that first country you mentioned...and clearly, the second guy you spoke of, beat the first guy...But I'm not gonna pronounce their names tonight, because I don't believe that's our national interest" *finger pistols*
"You may think you know the location of the lockbox, and maybe you do or maybe that's a decoy, or a dummy lockbox. Only the chairman of the joint chiefs, myself, and Tipper will know for sure."
"Jim, can I make two closing statements?"
'Sum up, in a single word, the best argument for your candidacy."
'Strategery."
'Lockbox."
"Uh, Jim? I got some more Nigerian names for you."
"*cough* That was not a sigh!"
"We want to be...unificators."
"Uh-oh. Sorry, Dick *snickersnicker*. I'll go over to my desk"
"So I'm asking you, America: be my buddy. I'm giving you $1600. Al Gore wouldn't give you any money. He would bore you with one of his long lectures and give the money to a tree."
COMEDY GOLD. And I totally transcribed most of that from memory and just polished it from the broadcast.
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