the Dalaverse

ARRRRR mateys. I'm afraid I'm not much good at talking in piratespeak, but I have been eating pirate food. I have a bad of Pirate's Booty sitting right next to me and pirate cookies on the shelf, and they are hearty plunder. And now, I will talk about food.

I love white bread. My mother throws a fit whenever I say I am eating it, which is why I don't say I'm eating it anymore. I understand that it has all the nutritional value of air, but it just tastes. So. Fucking. Good. And it makes the best peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the world. Smooth Skippy and -- well, I had cherry preserves for dinner, but I'm not ovely fond of them because they don't spread well so I pile on extra cherries and get grossed out by the sweetness. Instead I will imagine I had homemade strawberry preserves, the ones Dad brings home from a lady at work, which are so good I mostly eat them with a spoon.

I have a new favorite food. Yesterday, in the bags of crap Dad insists on bringing, I found this weird shrink-wrapped lump of brown and tan with a foreign name. It looked sort of like a meat product. Naturally I politely inquired what it was (read: "What the HELL is this?"), and Dad swore it was some kind of candy and it looked just strange enough for him to want to try it, except he can't because of his diet so he foisted it off on me. I looked it up in the dictionary today. This is what halvah is. And this is what halvah tastes like. OMG, I can't even describe it. It's not too terribly sweet and it tastes vaguely nutty and my particular piece is layered with semisweet chocolate and it is confectionary SEX.

Last on the food talk menu (I pun!), our campus coffee shop has just opened a smoothie bar. They have something like twenty different smoothies, made with a variety of fruits and juices and such, and they are fabulous. I tried the peach one made with juice and the strawberry and raspberry ones made of yogurt, which make you feel a little ill if you drink them too fast like me. I'm looking forward to the orange one made with sherbet. They're almost four dollars, but I do not care. I will ration my Flex.

See, this is what happens when I don't have a subscription to the Food Network. I'm not supposed to go this long without Rachael Ray or "Unwrapped."