the Dalaverse

So I finally saw "Man of Steel." I had heard both good things and bad things, so I went in with an open mind. In the end my feelings are...very mixed.

There were elements of plot in there that I liked, but they didn't really hang together well. Like, it wasn't so much a plot at times, as much as just...stuff happening. Random scenes here and there, without transitions that made sense. It was bizarre.

I knew from the trailers that I was going to have problems with the color palette, and lo, I did. I just hate the washed-out, grayscale, dull and dreary visual style, especially for a Superman movie. Look, Superman's costume is blue and red with a touch of sunshine yellow, okay? That shit is okay for Gotham City, but it does not fly in Metropolis. And I actually would like the new costume, if it wasn't surrounded by all the unbroken darkness. Everybody's clothing was dark/neutral. Krypton was dark. Kansas was dark. The Fortress of Solitude was dark. I choose to blame this on Christopher Nolan. I blame so very much on Nolan, y'all.

But the worst was the dialogue. It was like...you know how you wince whenever Halle Berry lets out that line about what happens to toads when they're struck by lightning? Like that, but instead of one dud line, it's nearly two and a half hours of dud lines. I'm honestly trying to remember one genuinely meaningful or poignant or clever string of words, but it was just scene after scene of flat, predictable, painfully on-the-nose dialogue. The actors are doing their best; Russell Crowe very nearly succeeds with his effortless gravitas, but those are fleeting moments. And this is not the standard for a Snyder movie, but looking at David Goyer's writing credits, I see nothing I've enjoyed, so. ( I guess it's time for a cut )

Yeah. It was rather a frustrating movie-going experience. I really, really want to be on board with this franchise; Superman is the only DC property I really care about, and this cast could shine. But for the love of god, get somebody who has an ear for how humans actually speak to write the next one.

And fuck Christopher Nolan, who needs to keep his hands off the things I like. People can say whatever they want about JJ Abrams (although I am really getting sick of having the same conversation over and over), but I wept tears of joy when Nolan didn't get the reins for Star Wars.