the Dalaverse

Also, I forgot to mention that I feel perfectly capable jumping from DMC-compliant to non, if you want to specify.

For geek_mama_2:
For geek_mama_2: Five times Captain Jack Sparrow seized the opportunte moment

1. When he stowed away aboard a merchantman at the age of seven. From a pirate’s point of view the journey didn’t bring him much largesse, but it did get him to sea for the first time. And that same captain kept him from being pressed into naval service eight years later, which he’s sure would otherwise have led to a series of decidedly inopportune moments.

2. Upon returning from his first voyage a year later, sending the cartographer’s intended apprentice down the wrong lane after meeting him by sheer chance.

3. Bargaining his soul for the Black Pearl. He would’ve liked a different currency, and it didn’t turn out so well down the line when thirteen years had gone by a lot quicker than you think possible at age twenty-five – but in essence, he has never really regretted it.

4. Kissing Elizabeth immediately upon being rescued from the world’s end. He was that grateful, and anyway the first kiss had been spoilt by the taste of betrayal and kraken breath. Even though she slapped him, it was still a better kiss.

5. Shrugging his shoulders and kissing Will in turn when the boy raised indignant protest. Thankfully, neither of them slapped him over that one.

For lizzie_omalley:
For lizzie_omalley: Five times that Jack actually deserved to feel a little smug

1. Impersonating a member of the English clergy. Those vicars were out for blood, and it was one of the closer scrapes he's been in.

2. Shepherding Sally Kirk to the utmost heights of ecstasy six times in one evening when he was nineteen. He’s not sure if she was lying when she claimed she’d never been able to get pleasure from sex before, but it makes him feel even more smug to think she was telling the truth.

3. Killing Hector Barbossa. Ten years later than he’d meant to, but still.

4. Sneaking into town for the Turners’ wedding, despite the fact that the Commodore had posted marines for every ten square yards between the docks and the church.

5. Talking his way out of a brand-new arrest and hanging when said Commodore managed to catch him. And then talking his way into being buggered senseless by said Commodore, much to their mutual surprise and delight.

And,
Five times Jack Sparrow felt smug but really hadn't earned the privilege

1. Sacking Nassau Port without firing a shot. He was determined that no one ever know they’d just had an outbreak of flu and a season of bad crops, so it was convenient that the sentries who’d been too busy sneezing and running to the privy were too embarrassed to admit their shortcomings.

2. Deflowering several noblemen’s daughters over the years, not realizing that their cousins or gardeners or Latin tutors had already had the privilege and that was why they were at home with their rich parents ripe for deflowering instead of off being enjoyed by rich husbands. In his defense, women in the aristocracy are very good at acting and artifice, and they did like him well enough to not want to hurt his pride.

3. Getting Elizabeth to put her arms around him when he briefly took her hostage at their first meeting. She wasted the whole experience thinking about how badly he smelled, how chilled she felt, and if her nipples were visible under her shift (they were, but it wasn’t due to any effort of Jack’s, no matter how badly he wanted to take credit).

4. Finding Will’s face in his lap on their second trip to Tortuga. Will had passed out drunk.

5. Stealing a very fine bottle of French champagne from the commodore’s cellar. Norrington had dug a pit in the garden to hide the even finer bottles of brandy and rum.