the Dalaverse

'Cause why not? I'm bored.


Nothing New Under the Sun:

Elizabeth: Good news! I'm pregnant!
Will: Me too!
Jack: *proud smile*
James: .....
Elizabeth: Shut the fuck up.
Will: No really, look!
Elizabeth: Damn, I thought you just got fat! Lookit the tummy! *poke* *squee*
Will: *squee*
James: I need a drink.
Jack: I need a break.
James: Where's the brandy?
Will and Elizabeth: *coo*
Jack: ...share?


A Simple Twist of Fate:

Jack: Goddamn you're hot. Let's mack.
James: No! I'm straight! And suspicious of you!
Jack: I love the sea like you. Plus, I'm teh sex.
James: ...well okay.
*snog*
Jack: Omigod ::runs away::
James: Bitch! *angst*

Will: *sweaty gardening* I'm cool and confident because Jack rasied me. I'm no stranger to the ladies, but I've never had a steady girl and I've never met anybody like the governor's daughter.
Elizabeth: You're gorgeous. I want you. Screw the commodore.
Will: I think Jack's taking care of that.


Catch of the Day:

Elizabeth: Here's an ugly but kind and interesting prostitute.
Jack: Cool
*sex*
Elizabeth: Gahhh! Why do they all fall for your dubious charms!
Jack: You really wanna know?
*snog*
Elizabeth: ........
Will: *glare* Bitch. Both of you.
Elizabeth: ........
Jack: Ha.

Gibbs: Maybe you're barking up the wrong tree.
Elizabeth: WTF?
Anamaria: He likes boys too.
Elizabeth: Oh. Oooooh.

Jack: Dance with me.
Will: No.
Jack: *charm*
Will: Okay.
Jack: Isn't the sexual tension just lovely? *closeclosecloser*
Will: Yes -- no! ::runs away::
Jack: Crap.
Elizabeth: Oh, I get it now.

Elizabeth: Look, a wealthy, handsome, gay merchant!
Jack: Nice one.
Will: *despair*
Jack: The wealthy handsome gay merchant is a sick bastard! He put me in this bloody corset! Look!
Elizabeth: Wow. I mean, that's awful.
Will: *stare* I'll just go stand over behind this...thing.
Jack: So I'm hot then?
Will: No! ::runs away::
Jack and Elizabeth: *sigh*


Untitled "Buffy" crossover (beginning):

James: I'm being chased in my dreams by this ghost-thing. Wahhh, I want Jack, but we had a fight.
Jack: Me and Jamie had a fight. Stupid bugger. I'm going to fuck this pale fellow just to spite him.
Pale Fellow: Such a pretty, pretty pirate...such a pretty neck...
Jack: My neck's filthy and sorry, can't do this.
Pale Fellow: Too late ::vamps out::
Jack: Aieee!
Slayer: ::saves the day::
Jack: WTF? Thanks, but WTF?
Slayer: I'm a vampire slayer. Nice to meetcha.
Watcher: Yeah, what she said.
Jack: You folks need a ride?


Untitled Sparrington:

Jack: Help! It's time for the wedding and I'm trapped in this shed!
James: I know you're hiding somewhere Sparrow!
Jack: No! The door!
*slam*
James: Ooops.
Jack: We gonna die. Might as well finish off this rum I brought for a wedding present.
James: Elizabeth is marrying the blacksmith. I'm sad.
Jack: Tough break. Rum?
James: ...'kay.
*drink*
James: Hee! I'm drunk!
Jack: You're purty.
James: *hiccup*
Jack: I want one last shag before I die. And you need one bad, buddy.
James: No! Pirate! *snog* Well, okay.
The next morning....
Will: ::opens door:: Ahhh! My eyes!
James: Wha? Oh, crap.
Jack: Shaddup, you liked it *snog*
Will: It burns! It burns!


Untitled W/E/N:

*flashback*
Governor Swann: Welcome back from your year and a half of keeping the waters safe from pirates, Commodore.
James: Thanks.
Elizabeth: Hi.
James: Who's the hottie?
Governor Swann: That's my baby girl, all growed up.
James: Damn.
Elizabeth: I've got boobs and hips now. Well, kind of.
James: *gulp*

James: I need an order filled, Mr. Sweaty Strapping Young Thing. And what happened to Mr. Brown's skinny little apprentice boy?
Will: That would be me. I've got pecs now. And look at the package under my tight threadbare breeches.
James: ::fans self:: Jesus God, people.

*unflashback*
Will and Elizabeth: Come to bed with us.
James: ...okay.
*mad threesome sex*


Untitled J/W:
Jack: Eeek! The Pearl's been captured by an enemy pirate!
Will: This is my ship now.
Jack: WTF?
Random Pirate: You show Captain Turner some respect, now.
Jack: *boggle*
Will: *sneer*
Jack: What the hell, boy?
Will: I'm no boy *menace*
Jack: I'm kinda frightened. And turned on.



Hee. That was fun.