the Dalaverse

Last spring, I wrote an essay for my Modern Religious Thought course about Martin Luther King Jr. and Dietrich Bonhoeffer as prophets according to the Old Testament tradition. The professor gave me an A, pointed it out in class as publishable, and suggested I submit it to the school's philosophy journal. I did, and it was accepted and published, and that was very cool.

Today in class I got the following e-mail from Katharina:

I wanted you to submit your published essay to a conservative Christian foundation that offers $ 10,000 to an essay that quotes the Bible and is published in a secular journal. I think you qualify, the foundation is called amyfoundtn@aol.com. What do you think?

I looked up the foundation and perused their website, which contains additional information about this writing contest (in addition to the $10,000 first prize, there is a second prize of $5000, third prize of $4000, fourth prize of $3000, fifth prize of $2000, and ten $1000 prizes). It does look as though my essay would qualify, and it is certainly good enough to hold up to the winners from last year (although those mostly seem to be personal accounts, and mine is a persuasive essay). I don't think it's conceited to say so. I give good papers; I know when I have written something worthy and when I've produced total crap. This essay was the best paper I wrote last year, next to the Frankenstein birth/creation metaphor paper. I wouldn't even consider submitting it unless I thought it had a decent shot at winning some prize.

All that said, I doubt there is a single person who is reading this or has ever been acquainted me who does not see the problem here.

I could really use that money. I could use any one of those prizes, and badly. I won't have a chance to work this summer because I'll be doing the field school here, in theory, and we are already scrambling around trying to figure out how to pay for that. But my moral compass does not point in the direction of this foundation's mission statement.

I wish I could say definitively that that means I won't consider submitting the essay. Conversely, I wish I could say that I would submit it with absolutely no qualms. I can say that I would be able to live with myself, using a conservative Christian foundation's prize money to help fund my education and my own personal liberal agenda. I can say that the thought of doing so makes my insides feel funny. I can say that I believe my essay reflects the reality that one does not need to be religious in order to find faith inspiring, and I would be proud to defend that position.

Just...if I won, would I have to go to some kind of ceremony and stand up in front of these people and practice a 'don't ask, don't tell' policy regarding my own total lack of belief? Would I put this on graduate school applications? I think the practical aspects really confound me as much or more than the moral...If I used some of the money to make donations to the Democratic Party, to GLAAD, to NOW, etc., would that make me feel like more or less of a horrible person?

Gahhhh. I am going to the gym to work off frustration and the Coke and KitKat I felt compelled to consume after reading the e-mail in the middle of class.

Please, y'all, leave me your honest thoughts on this. I can post the essay if that would make things clearer. I'm going to talk to my parents and Megan and Katherine later. But probably not Vanessa, aye?

Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ. iTunes is now playing "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood." Cheeky little bastard thinks it's funny.