the Dalaverse

Questions to be pondered while watching 'Enchanted' and clutching one's stomach:

1. How is Amy Adams one of the loveliest people on earth instead of the most annoying? How does she knooowwww do that?

2. Why can't I have Campbell's Homestyle Chicken Noodle soup? One can, just one can, that's all I need. Alternatively:

3. Why does Heinz make soup that is so incredibly disgusting?

4. Why would you cast Idina Menzel in a musical movie and then not have her sing? And then, when no less than three songs from said movie are nominated for an Oscar, why would you have Kristen Chenowith perform one instead of Idina Menzel. Don't get me wrong, I heart the Chenowith, but what gives?

5. Why did I bother buying a 36-pack of Jaffa cakes when it makes me queasy just to look at them?\

6. How come no one ever gave Nerissa a copy of the Evil Overlord List? She breaks like eleventy thousand of the rules, the most important being, 'I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.' But I suppose that's your Disney, right there.

7. How is Patrick Dempsey even sexier as a dad?

8. Why does Disney have that stupid Princess thing now that genericizes all the female characters and reduces them to pretty dresses and faces and/or scary Bratz Doll eyes? Mulan isn't even a fricking princess, nor does she have the slightest chance of becoming one in the future. Icon Marian does not approve.

9. Why isn't James Marsden my boyfriend yet?

Bonus ETA question:

10. What's the worst possible movie (starring an Oscar-nominated indie queen) that Dala could watch before going to bed? If you guessed 'Hard Candy,' DINGDINGDING! You are correct! You win a bundle of jittery nerves. Incredible freakout performances from Ellen Page and Patrick Wilson, but oh my god are my dreams going to be wacked out tonight.